Broken English

It is fair to say that my time at school was largely uneventful and this was fine by me. In the lore of the playground you learn quickly the dos and don'ts and the people best avoided. I hung about with my friends and mostly did my homework, throughout my time there I only made two real enemies. spelling and grammar.

I am not sure what happened on the day we learned grammar, perhaps I was ill because I truly have no recollection of anyone ever telling me this is how it is. Grammar was a hard lesson learnt through pages and pages of corrections. At the time I had nothing more than a vague interest bought about mostly through a late developing aversion to red ink. Books and I were well acquainted but even at the end grammar was no friend of mine and we parted ways with the certain knowledge that we would be forced together at a later date. Something has happened in the interim period, maybe we have both mellowed over the years. Where once we would cross the street in order to avoid each other now we say a passing hello. I have seen a whole different side to grammar in recent years that for some reason I was blind to before. The syntax of words and the insertion of punctuation I once saw as nothing more than a chore. The English language is blessed with such flexibility that as long as the correct words are there their meaning is usually not to difficult to construct. Where as I used to view grammar as a secret that I was not party to I am now starting to glimpse at its function.

There is a trend in education backed by statistics for boys to choose subjects such as mathematics, the sciences and design technology. To me these subjects are black and white because they conform to strict rules, there are formulas and ways or doing things, rules that I never saw or took no interest in when it came to English. But now the hieroglyphics have been translated and I cannot say I am fluent but I find this new language fascinating and not the chore it used to be it is now a challenge with rules and boundaries, not so unlike the sciences I once liked. There are things to discover and knowledge to to be gained a chance for self improvement and greater understanding. Anyone with half a notion of the correct deployment of grammar will instantly see this monologue littered with red ink. It is not uncommon for the Big Cheese to put more than a few things right but I can add this to the rules I have learned and move on. I never hated linguistics but now I like it more and think this could be the start of a good friendship.  

This will come as no surprise to those who did not miss that day at school but I don't really think that grammar's job is to police, grammar is the icing on the cake. Cakes are good but frosting makes it funny or poniente gives it a pace and a voice. Grammar frosting takes it from a sponge to a birthday cake and if it is really good a piped message on top.

Grammar and I may even go for a beer later, he was even talking of bringing a friend. Comma, full stop, even semi colon are all fine by me but if it's spelling, forget it. We still have issues.