Just plane solvent

There is a period of time between the child and teenage years that until recently never had a name. It was a bit of an anomaly that marketing departments chose to label the tweens. If I could capture that era of semi this and half that and give it a physical presence. If this could then be molded and cast in to plastic, broken down in to its constitute parts that had the ability to be reassembled at a later date. If we could then give them a set of assembly instructions and package the whole lot in a box with an incredible gloriously coloured and highly dramatised illustration on the front you would have the an Airfix model kit, the embodyment of my tweens.  

There was always a sense of excitement when going to the model shop almost as if the possibilities were endless, tanks, planes, cars, boats, they were all there. Models of vehicles you never knew existed and some that never did. The boundaries of reality no longer mattered, panzer tanks would comfortable sit next to a star wars battleship each and every one dramatised in technicolour with a picture of your model flying in to battle or sailing the high seas. If you had spent most of your pocket money you could still afford a spitfire or you could save up a little and get a formula one car. Some were easy and others took days to construct, requiring multiple construction areas and time allowed for drying. Everything would then combine in a few pages time and all make sense at the end. Models kits required responsibility they came with warnings of small parts and choking hazards, they were not suitable for small children. They required the use of solvents and oil based paint both of which had skull and cross bones triangles which laughed in the face of toys. These paints could not simply be washed down the sink like the water based ones in school, they required the use of yet more chemicals to clean the brush. To this day I have the words of my Dad at the back of my head every time I go near a tube of glue, warning me not to stick my fingers together. I learned quickly that this was an empty promise and not in the slightest bit possible with poly cement, which despite my best efforts not to I had on every finger in less than 2 minutes flat and which dried in to a harmless flake leaving a preserved copy of my finger prints. I had a tray on which I kept the various chemical solvents needed for construction. It was my mothers was of trying to preserve the carpets and it worked to an extent but an extent can only stretch so far after that a piece of furniture has to be put over the top to hide the blob. Sometimes the models lasted and other times they fell apart after a month or so. I am not quite sure what happened to all my models they just seemed to disappear over time. I am can only imaging a lot had unfortunate accidents in the garden or fell foul to the destructive tendencies that a young boy possess. I should think a good number are sitting in my parents attic in an unmarked box amongst the great mountain of other outgrown items. I am sure I will uncover them some day and admire the sloppily glued edges and the colours painted in shades just close enough, because I did not have the exact one listed in my collection. And I will remember the happy hours spend blissfully unaware that I was high as a kite off a mixture of Poly resin and solvent based paint fumes in my unventilated bedroom.

A shark in Brighton

It is odd how quickly one becomes accustom to walking around Brighton wearing all the necessary aids and equipment for a non swimmers day at the beach topped off with a man being eaten by a shark costume for good measure. Children stopped and pointed as we walked down the street, asking their mothers why and what those odd people were doing. Others laughed and there were more than a few compliments on the choice of bikini, and so began the long standing and sacred tradition among men involving the ritual humiliation of the stag.

I have to hold my hands up and say that it was a just a little late, but in agreement with all concerned we came to the conclusion that it probably fell under similar legislation to the stature of rights and that a years guarantee was applicable. The deadline for that voucher was fast approaching so I sketched out the frame of a plan and left the guys to get on with the stitch up. They did well and Saturday afternoon we headed off to Brighton dressed like idiots with me at the helm. There were challenges and drinking fines for all number of minor incursions, we talked the nonsense men do when oiled with beer and laughed at things of the past. There are pictures and probably video footage too captured in glorious HD which I am sure is being primed for upload to Facebook as I type. We hit a couple of pubs on the way to the venue and turned up to the comedy club all members still accounted for. Unlike the movies I did not wake up in the morning to find Mike Tyson's tiger in the bathroom and I think that in general other than drinking way too much I do not have that many skeletons waiting to break out of the closet. Right before the haziness of alcohol set in and the details became blurred I looked around at the faces before me filling in a few regretfully empty metaphorical chairs. It is humbling to know that people have turned up for you. At this point of our lives when our responsibilities out weigh the time we have for ourselves and there are never enough hours in any given day, time is by far our most precious asset. To travel from the other end of the country, spending hours on the road or train, giving up cherished time that could be lavished on a young family or partner over the weekend you hoped all week would get here one day sooner, to spend money hard earned on ensuring someone else has one of the best night out ever are just the tip of the iceberg that makes these guys so special. Some I have known for many many years and together we have watched one another grow through to the people we have become today. Others I have known for less time but I value just as much having more than earned the moniker friend in too many ways to mention.

Sitting there half eaten by my shark costume I concluded what I already knew, that friends do not come any better than these guys. For I count myself a lucky man to know these people and see no reason that should ever stop being the case. It is well said that if you can count your very good friends on one hand then you are a lucky man. In which case I have more than twice the luck of most.

Thank you guys for making it a very special night that I shall never forget.